The Holiday Armadillo

This was a little something I wrote for my friend catrogue posted over on Tumblr.  Now it's here!

Sarah followed Chuck up the stairs from the basement, both of them loaded down with the Christmas presents they’d been wrapping for the past hour.  The second they walked into the family room, they were serenaded with ominous sounds of thumps coming from upstairs, a crash and then a serious amount of yelling.  Chuck yelped, “I got it!” sprinted to the sofa, offloaded his burden and bounded up the steps, his long legs taking them two at a time.  When Sarah heard a door open and Chuck say sternly, “What’s going on up here?  You need to keep it down.  The baby’s taking a nap,” she knew he had it covered.  Setting to work, she played Santa’s helper and placed the presents under the Christmas tree.

As she worked, she heard what sounded like a laugh track coming from the TV room.  She scowled at that since it wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.  Carina had been charged with keeping an eye on Martie and Megan while Sarah and Chuck were busy downstairs.  It wasn’t Sarah’s first choice, but when Carina had put on her most solemn face and promised that she and the girls would only watch holiday DVDs, Sarah’d agreed.  As a result, she expected to hear the man with the wonderfully deep voice sing, “You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch,” for the four millionth time that week.  Of course she knew she shouldn’t have any expectations of anything ever being close to normal when it came to Carina, so really it was her own fault for not being specific enough about what was acceptable holiday viewing material.



Curious to see what her best friend thought passed as appropriate for the two girls to watch—and hoping not too much damage had been done to their young psyches—Sarah strode purposefully toward the sound of the laughter.

When she arrived at the doorway, she pulled up short and smiled at the scene.  Carina sat on the center cushion of the couch, her long legs stretched out and her feet crossed at the ankles.  The redhead was bookended by the two little girls.  Martie’s feet were tucked up next to her and leaned into Carina, absently sucking on a candy cane.  Megan sat on the other side and mirrored Carina with her legs straight out in front of her.  The little girl munched on a sugar cookie and the front of her shirt, graced with an AT-AT sporting antlers and a red nose, was covered with crumbs.  Sarah was tempted to back away so as not to interrupt the sweet moment, but when she saw the sitcom playing on the TV was Friends, the parent in her compelled her forward and into the room.

“Friends, Carina?  Really?  I’m not—”

“Before you get your undies in bundle, Sarah, just relax.”  Carina picked up the remote and paused the DVD.  “Give me some credit.  It’s not like I’m gonna let them to watch ‘The One with the Inappropriate Sister.’”

Since Sarah didn’t even know what that meant, it gave her little consolation.  She had a little exposure to the show since Lizzie and Lisa watched the DVDs constantly.  She didn’t worry about the older girls watching it, but wasn’t convinced this was the right show for a seven and nine year-old.

“Besides, I promised we’d only watch holiday DVDs and we’re just watching some of the Christmas episodes, right girls?”

Martie nodded and said, “I liked the one where the heater was broken and it got really hot during the pretty ladies’ Christmas party in the apartment with the purple walls.”

Megan leaned forward and looked past Carina to address her sister.  “I want to live in a house with purple walls someday.”

Martie’s eyes widened and she looked back at Megan.  “Me, too.  When we grow up, we can live in the same apartment and have purple walls, just like them.  I can be the one with the dark hair and you can be the one with the light.”  Megan nodded, sat back and took another bite of her cookie.

Well, that’s incredibly adorable, Sarah thought.  Since the girls didn’t seem scarred, she relaxed, unhooked the baby monitor from her back pocket and sat down to join them.

“Plus, there’s a kid in this episode, so that means it’s okay for kids to watch,” Carina said and stared at Sarah with superiority flashing in her eyes.

“Carina, by that logic, since there were kids in The Shining it would be perfectly acceptable for these two to see it.”  Just thinking about the movie gave Sarah a fit of shivers and wished she hadn’t seen it.  Sarah Walker Bartowski could put a bullet between the eyes of a bad guy and not lose a wink of sleep, but that movie creeped her out.  To make amends for suggesting they watch the horror flick in the first place, Chuck had taken Sarah to the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park—where Stephen King had conceived of the novel—for a weekend.  She, of course, had forgiven him…several times.  Shaking off her momentary brain derailment, she looked at Carina and swept her hand toward the television.  “Please, continue.”

Carina smirked victoriously and started the DVD again.

After a couple more minutes of watching, Megan scowled and said, “Aunt Carina?  I’m confused.  Why does the Holiday Armadillo bring presents to Ben?”

Carina paused the show to answer.  “The Holiday Armadillo is one of Santa’s super secret helpers.  Maybe if you’re really good, he’ll come here.”

The girls turned toward Sarah, anticipation and excitement shining in their eyes. “I hope the Holiday Armadillo comes to our house this year,” Martie breathed.

“Yeah, Sarah,” Carina said gleefully.  “I’d hate it if the Holiday Armadillo didn’t come here this year.  These girls have been so good, haven’t you?”  Sarah could practically see the devil horns sprouting from Carina’s head.

There was no way Sarah was going to allow Carina to finagle Chuck into dressing up like an armadillo.  “I’m sorry kiddoes, he won’t be coming here.  The Holiday Armadillo is part of Hanukkah and we’re not Jewish.”

“Oh, yeah,” Martie said, “the Festival of Lights.”  She turned looked up at the redhead and said, “What I want to know is why Chandler was dressed up like Santa.  He’s not really Santa, is he?  What’s up with that, Aunt Carina?”


It was at that moment happy, babbling noises came from the monitor.  From the rustling sounds Sarah heard, the munchkin upstairs was awake, had pulled up and was standing there, holding onto the side of the crib waiting to be rescued.  The perfect opportunity for payback, she jumped up from her chair and said, “Gotta go get the baby.  Good luck answering that question, Carina.”  Sarah laughed as the word “Traitor!” followed her as she hustled from the room.